Dear Diary...and other musings

Lovelies, I just love the quote below and I really needed it this week, let me tell ya!

 

When I was younger I would often experience intense anxiety when I tried something new; my fear of failure was so great that I would inevitably "self-sabotage". I wasn't aware of what I was doing at the time and I thought, more often than not, that if I didn't put 100% of myself (my heart, my creativity, my effort) into something then no one could tell me that I wasn't good enough or I wasn't talented enough. And if I wasn't completely vulnerable then people couldn't judge me. Little did my younger self know that this safety mechanism would rob me of experiencing so many wonderful things. If I can be completely honest, the person I was and the choices I made when I was younger still make me cringe on the inside...like, a keep-me-up-at-night kind of cringing. I wonder what others still think of me at 32 because of who I was at 18, 19, 20 and so on. It is an exhausting bedtime ritual that I find myself participating in more often than I care to admit.

  

However, over the years I have worked on my internal well being and self love. I remind myself (sometimes constantly) that I am not who I was 10+ years ago...or yesterday, for that matter. And while that girl is no longer who I am, I continue to allow those past experiences to positively inform the woman I am today. At this point in my life, I am aware of when I am scared of putting myself out there and I recognize, almost instantly, when nasty old insecurities start to rear their ugly heads. Being able to see them for what they are has been so empowering.
 

Free floral wallpaper download (sans quote) at herandnicole.com!

This year, I want to be fearless. I want to throw myself into becoming the woman I know I am truly capable of being. I want to say goodbye to negative self talk and replace it with words of love, kindness, and support. I dream of doing new things, traveling to new places, meeting new and exciting people and not once worrying if I deserve them. These are the things I want for you, too! I want us all to live rich, fulfilling, and dream-filled lives. We have, within our very beings, the power to be exactly the kind of person we choose to be and with every sunrise comes a clean slate just waiting to be written on.

 

Today, my slate happened to be this quote-driven creation. It was just the reminder I needed to keep my chin up and my heart light. After all, "The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be."

 

XOXO,

~Cristina~