Lovelies, I just love the quote below and I really needed it this week, let me tell ya!
When I was younger I would often experience intense anxiety when I tried something new; my fear of failure was so great that I would inevitably "self-sabotage". I wasn't aware of what I was doing at the time and I thought, more often than not, that if I didn't put 100% of myself (my heart, my creativity, my effort) into something then no one could tell me that I wasn't good enough or I wasn't talented enough. And if I wasn't completely vulnerable then people couldn't judge me. Little did my younger self know that this safety mechanism would rob me of experiencing so many wonderful things. If I can be completely honest, the person I was and the choices I made when I was younger still make me cringe on the inside...like, a keep-me-up-at-night kind of cringing. I wonder what others still think of me at 32 because of who I was at 18, 19, 20 and so on. It is an exhausting bedtime ritual that I find myself participating in more often than I care to admit.
However, over the years I have worked on my internal well being and self love. I remind myself (sometimes constantly) that I am not who I was 10+ years ago...or yesterday, for that matter. And while that girl is no longer who I am, I continue to allow those past experiences to positively inform the woman I am today. At this point in my life, I am aware of when I am scared of putting myself out there and I recognize, almost instantly, when nasty old insecurities start to rear their ugly heads. Being able to see them for what they are has been so empowering.
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This year, I want to be fearless. I want to throw myself into becoming the woman I know I am truly capable of being. I want to say goodbye to negative self talk and replace it with words of love, kindness, and support. I dream of doing new things, traveling to new places, meeting new and exciting people and not once worrying if I deserve them. These are the things I want for you, too! I want us all to live rich, fulfilling, and dream-filled lives. We have, within our very beings, the power to be exactly the kind of person we choose to be and with every sunrise comes a clean slate just waiting to be written on.
Today, my slate happened to be this quote-driven creation. It was just the reminder I needed to keep my chin up and my heart light. After all, "The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be."
XOXO,
~Cristina~
